According to professional apocalypse soothsayer / silky - voice wireless host Harold Camping , the Rapture ’s going down today . But Camping ’s not alone in his doomsaying . Many odd fellow have made standardized dire claims in recent twelvemonth . Here ’s a Whitman ’s Sampler of apocalypse - predicting nuts .
So fit in to Family Radio noble-minded poobah Camping , monolithic temblor should have already begun in the mid - Pacific and will be wend their way around the Earth all day long . New Yorkers can wait seismal horror at approximately 6 PM . And just as your Friday night holdover lose its venom . Rats !
Until it explodes into a mushroom cloud of excrement this October , our planet will becoming a great rotting paella of unfathomably horrifying shit for a solid five month . Presumably Mother Earth will be vajazzled with cobweb God lasers rain down from firmament . Endangered coinage will spontaneously catch fire into wall of angel bullets , and the flaming sword of Michael the Archangel will stick the continent like so many wilted slice of liverwurst .
as luck would have it , all us pagan wo n’t notice the Rapture ’s a - rip . Camping believes inannihilationism , which means you and I wo n’t drop eternity being harangued by the bad guy wire from Legend ( whileBryan Ferryserenades us ) . No , our soul will sort of just fart out of existence . perhaps we ’ll melt into the void . Or we ’ll all be converted in a universe that ’s a elephantine pinball machine . Only Harold Camping knows for sure !
In any case , Camping ’s heathen - baiting is n’t anything new . Since time immemorial , citizenry have been screaming about the end of time . Hell , folks have been doing this with clockwork geometrical regularity over the retiring 30 twelvemonth .
Between all your Y2Ks and Nike aficionados strain to hitch a ride on Hale - Bopp , Camping ’s just a flare in a great big skillet of crazy . Here ’s a bunch o ’ fluff contemporaneous apocalypses .
PS : If the raptus does n’t strike today , we only have a year to waitress until2012 . Then we ’ll have prison term tobuy cushy fallout sheltersand buildhomemade , lava - proof survival podsin our backyards .
https://gizmodo.com/seven-ways-the-world-could-end-in-2012-5401749
https://gizmodo.com/ride-out-2012-in-style-with-vivos-apocalypse-shelters-5515168
https://gizmodo.com/moscow-man-builds-2012-survival-ark-on-abandoned-chicke-5735705
1 . ) Harold Camping : 1994 - 1995
First , have ’s start with the Chicken Little of the day , Mr. Harold Camping , thePeabo Brysonof AM / FM radio apocalypse theatrical performance . Why do I say this ? Because Mr. Camping ’s voice is like pack yourself in an aural Slanket of fire - and - native sulfur flapdoodle . His vocalism sound like extremely judgmental shoo - fly pie .
Anyway , Mr. Camping previously used his own home - brew eschatological numerology to promise that the humankind would end in 1994 . Did it ? Well , you’re able to still buy Camping ’s book delineating his prophecy on Amazon . Also , he adjusted the date several clip .
( Actually , after listening to his articulation a bunch of time , I take back the Peabo comparison . Mr. Camping sounds more like theShooby Taylorof end - multiplication pedlar . )
2 . ) Elizabeth Clare Prophet : April 23 , 1990
In the 1980s , Elizabeth Clare Prophet , founder of the New Age movements The Summit Lighthouse and Church Universal and Triumphant ( and self - proclaim reincarnation of Marie Antoinette ) , was dead certain that nuclear war would desolate the world come in 1990 .
Prophet relocated with 2000 of her followers moved to a bunker near Yellowstone National Park and stockpiled arm for the future wasteland , a move that did n’t impress the US government . Incidentally , Prophet and her work party bought a good deal of their equipment from the famous Oregon - salad - legal community - poisoningRajneesh organization . Is there some sort of cults - only barter sports meeting I ’m unaware of ?
https://gizmodo.com/the-worst-and-weirdest-food-disasters-youll-ever-experi-5697733
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjDUvphxkMw
3 . ) The Unarians : 2001
Let ’s move on to a gentler , goofier prediction . The Unarians were a charmingly dippy administration who believed that extraterrestrial “ space brother ” would fall to Earth in 2001 to usher in a new halcyon age of cosmic grooviness . These celestial visitors would bring in enlightenment , benevolence , and — if you put credence intheir public access - grade training videos — totally fucking rad costumes .
https://gizmodo.com/meet-the-unarians-the-most-awesomely-bad-ufo-cult-ever-5675108
The above video excuse the various reincarnations of deceased Unarian majestrix Ruth Norman . Among many diachronic notables , she was the rebirth of Mona Lisa , Ben Franklin , and Socrates . And thanks to the miracle of spirit gum , watch her toy them all !
4 . ) Pat Robertson : 1982 , 2007
In 1976 , 700 Club read/write head honcho Pat Robertson declare that there would be a great Biblical judgment sometime in the early 1980s . After those end times failed to materialize , Pat foretell three decennary later that a massive terrorist hit would cripple civilisation .
I could n’t find any archival clipping of Pat speak about his predicted 1982 doomsday , so here he is poo - pooing Harold Camping ’s 2011 doomsday prevision . Watch the entire clip to find out how Pat ’s cad Blue keeps a silky luster ! Pat ’s secret ? Vitamin B and vanilla extract yogurt ! The hell you say , Pat ! Also , did you bonk Blue hasa Facebook Sir Frederick Handley Page ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gi68lzwzYM
5 . ) Benjamin Creme : 1982
In the early 1980s , pan - denominational spiritualistBenjamin Cremewas super - psyched that Jesus was coming back in the chassis of “ Maitreya , the World Teacher . ” In fact , he was so jazzed about this great revelation that bought an ad in The L.A. Times and several other paper proclaiming“THE CHRIST IS NOW HERE ! ”
After Maitreya failed to materialize , everyone stopped paying aid to Creme ’s advertizement and become back to read Ziggy . Check out a time of Bill Maher take a big self-satisfied dump all over Creme ’s weltanschauung .
6 . ) Richard Noone : May 5 , 2000
In his 1997 book , meth : The Ultimate Disaster , claimed that erratic Age of Reason and some ancient Egyptian and/or Masonic machinations would make the Antarctic ice sheet to gravitate up to the equator or something . Noone may have been full of jazz , but I ’m pretty sure his book ( which goes for a cent on Amazon ) inspired almost all of Roland Emmerich ’s filmography .
7 . ) Wang Chao - hung : May 11 , 2011
You suppose Harold Camping has a monopoly on 2011 ’s pistachio - and - macadamia - tinged predictions ? According to Wang Chao - hung , a swain have intercourse to his follower as “ Teacher Wang , ” a 14 - order of magnitude earthquake was suppose to charge Taiwan at 10:42:37 AM two Wednesdays ago .
What was Wang ’s solution for riding out the seismic destruction ? Taking shelter — not in a bunker or hot air balloon or in a giant inflatable chalet — but in the kind of freight containers drifters live in . When the earthquake failed to materialize , the seer opined , “ The earthquake will bump off before the end of today . You ’ll see . ”
8 . ) Yisrayl “ Buffalo Bill ” Hawkins : 2006 - 2008
Thrice over three years , creepy-crawly cult daddyYisrayl Hawkinspredicted that atomic state of war would break off out in the form of a world - ending “ atomic baby . ”
I ’m not sure Hawkins meant by “ nuclear sister , ” but his plan to await out the Revelation of Saint John the Divine was even worse than Wang ’s — Hawkins and his followers , the House of Yahweh , construct a larger - than - average poke parking lot . Therefore , I ’m just going to assume he prophesied that a genuine irradiated infant would usher in Ragnarok .
9 . ) Pyotr Kuznetsov : April - May 2008
This one ’s morbid and sad . In 2007 , members of a cult lie with as the unfeigned Russian Orthodox Church trammel themselves in a earthen bunker in Penza , Russia and threatened to commit suicide if administration official intervene . The cultists followed preacher Pyotr Kuznetsov , whoconvinced member that barcodes and credit card were the works of Satanand that the world would terminate come outpouring of 2008 .
After the apocalypse was a no - show , Kuznetsov attemptedto shoot down himself with a logand two women had die in the deathtrap bunker . If you ’re going to join a Russian fad , please at least join a all ridiculous one , like that group that worshipsGadget from Rescue Rangers .
10 . ) Jeane Dixon
Dixonwas a psychic advisor to Richard Nixon and Nancy Reagan and , more importantly , the author of the literary tour de force Do Cats Have ESP ? ( which come with“SPECIAL CAT HOROSCOPES ” ) . Anyway , Dixon predicteda short ton of wacky shit , namely that World War III would break out with China in the 1950s , that the Antichrist would be born in the 1960s , and that a comet would smash Earth during the 1980s . And like any good clairvoyant with White House connections , she lent her talents to a 900 figure .
For an all-encompassing daily round - up of the several thousand times masses have yammered about the world ending , A Brief chronicle of the Apocalypseis a good position to start . Front pageboy apocalyptical painting is Death on a Pale Horse by Benjamin West , apocalyptic baptismal font is Comics Sans .
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