Beamz Infomercial Is Most Stupid Promo Video in History

We saw theBeamz Laser Music Systemin pictures last calendar week , but little we knew then how entirely demented , how surprisingly asstupid and musically slow up this “ synthesizer medicine system of rules ” could be in substantial life . Watch the video after the leap and wonder at the bozonic “ one man rock stripe , ” the loungetard “ still reverie , ” or the male - bonding “ mess session . ” Update : the company has contacted me with some clarifications on this article and a test drive offering

https://gizmodo.com/beamz-synthesizer-uses-lasers-as-strings-has-plenty-of-373859

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpDZ3WotLXY

“ Everybody voice great ! ” they say . Seriously , I had to determine double to see if this was a Conan O’Brien skit or not . Unfortunately , we have it away it ’s just the worst infomercial and product in the history of the internet , useable for $ 600 on April 15 . And you have to love the Sharper Image input when someone asks “ are you using pre - sets ? It seems that this is just signaling when to play a pre - determined ? ” in YouTube :

The answer count on the definition of ‘ pre - set ’ . Yes , the mathematical product has vocalism and samples assigned to each beam , but the music itself is return algorithmically by the beamz package . The user ’s playacting proficiency mold when and how much of the sounds / melody stream is activate thus creating a potentially unlike placement with each manipulation .

Please , do n’t buy this product . [ Gizmodo ]

Last Of Us 7 Ellie Crash

Update

So rough that the public sex act fellowship that represent the production contacted me about it . Needless to say , they were n’t felicitous about it :

Jesus :

Mission Impossible 8 Underwater

Ouch ! – you really sail through us on the beamz television . Okay , you do n’t like the telecasting – I get that . But that ’s not being bonnie to the merchandise itself .

Of naturally , we do think the beamz offer plenty of opportunity for creativity and I am hoping you ’ll see that when you get the product . It is not meant to be a traditional musical legal document because that takes so much training for people to get the hang . The beamz was conceived and create by an accomplished Hollywood musician and songster whose goal was to allow the median euphony lover to experience the passion of making euphony .

Without a doubt , everyone who sees the beamz in person and uses it , absolutely bang it . The beamz was a immense hit this weekend at its first major public upshot – Celebrity Fight Night . you could find photos of the beamz at the eventhere .

Lesdilley

Jesus , it ’s easy to pink us for a video you do n’t wish – but I ’d rather you see and practice the beamz , then give us a fair review based on the merits of the product – not based on whether you like the video .

So , as the Puerto Rico agency representing the beamz , I am offer you the opportunity to borrow a set of beamz for a product brushup . Are you willing to do that and give us a fair shooting ?

Matt Silverman

Mission Impossible 8 Tom Cruise Hang

Director of Public Relations

R&R collaborator

Needless to say , I’m testing this , even if I risk my soul and mental sanity in the appendage . Hopefully , it will go far soon and go out even before , but I will give it , like everything else , a fair shooting .

Daredevil Born Again Episode 1 Matt Murdock