DMX and Desiree Lindstrom.Photo: Desiree Lindstrom/ instagram
Thefiancée of late rapper DMXis still grappling with his loss nearly a year after his tragic death.
Desiree Lindstrom, who shared 5-year-old son Exodus with the musician, opened up about her grief during a recent podcast appearance, 11 months after DMXdied on April 9 following a heart attack.
Lindstrom said that since losing the “Party Up (Up in Here)” rapper (real name Earl Simmons), she’s been focused on herself and her son, and is currently in school to be an esthetician.
“I just want to build myself to be a great mother to Exodus,” she said. “I want him to see that he has a strong mother that can stand up on her own, and I’m just trusting in God through the process. I go up and down with emotions. I have to really force myself to keep it moving, keep going.”
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Still, some moments are harder than others for her, especially holidays, which she said get “lonely,” as the rapper “was my family.”
Lindstrom noted that she often leans on her son — who is “stable” as he continues to battle stage-three kidney disease — and finds comfort in his positivity outlook and strength.
“Sometimes it’s hard, just looking at him. He has so many different qualities of his father,” she explained. “So when I do shed a tear, he’ll be like, ‘Mommy, are you okay? And I’ll say, ‘You just did something that was like your father.’ And he’s like, ‘Mommy, it’s okay, Daddy’s with God, he’s watching over us. He’s our angel.’ I just thank God that he gave me a son that is like that. He’s just like his dad.”
According to host Harper, Lindstrom and DMX were together for 10 years — and despite the fact that they never had the chance to actually tie the knot, lived as if they were married.
“One thing that Earl taught me was, who gives a f— what people got to say about you? I knew that he loved me, he knew that I loved him,” said Lindstrom, who said she was still “not even thinking” about dating again. “I feel like we [were] married. A piece of paper ain’t s—. Our love was real. He was there for me, I was there for him, and people know what the f— it was, period.”
Shortly after DMX’s death, Lindstromgot a tattoo in his memoryreading “Dog Love,” as well as an “X” in the same font that the rapper used to stylize his name.
DMX died at White Plains Hospital in New York one week after suffering a heart attack.
“Earl was a warrior who fought till the very end. He loved his family with all of his heart and we cherish the times we spent with him. Earl’s music inspired countless fans across the world and his iconic legacy will live on forever. We appreciate all of the love and support during this incredibly difficult time,” they added.
source: people.com
